I want to write this up before life moves on, before God reveals more of Himself to me, and before He overflows so much that I get overwhelmed and forget every single detail of it.
(Pushing my assignment to aside for awhile for now)
Had so little sleep and so much emotional downs. It was so crazy. And I guessed it was accumulation of everything that I had on my plate.
Since I got approached as logistics head for Easter Camp, I had very little expectations of what was required of me.
I thought transportation and rooming were pretty easy so I willingly took it up. Then when we went down to details of the scope, I was even more relieved because I was only assigned for transportation of campers and rooming (HAHAHA, I didnt tell my comm I was happy. Music instruments will be handled by worship head and food will be transported by chefs). I thought it's just gonna be about booking the cheapest bus and getting people up, then assigning people into random rooms. - Later, more tasks were assigned to me, like buying gifts (that suits personality), pre-service prayer... and during camp, registration, scrap book etc. and apparently many people had requirements for rooming, we had so many campers some people had to squeeze. I also had to make sure that people have at least a friend (from their centre & in their cell) in their room....
Amidst these, my mum and brother told me they wanted to come for the most dreaded day here - my graduation. BUT THEY REFUSED TO PLAN. I dont blame my mum, because my mum isnt educated to make these booking. but MY BROTHER, who insisted that he wanted to come, didnt help me at all. He just dumped it to me. When I asked for preferred date, they told me any day will do, any time, any arrangement will be fine. but the last time they came, they said the same thing to me while I was planning and ended up complaining so much about the arrangements I made..... Went through so much troubles to book the flight. Then my mum whom I thought would have least opinion of these planning started nagging at my plans for them..... GOT SO FRUSTRATED I DIDNT WANT TO REPLY HER. But she kept sending me voice messages.
At the same time, my industry project that was already in its 5th week (HALF WAY MARK OF SEMESTER) had a major change in direction, so all 4 weeks of efforts on researching had gone to waste...... And a day before client meeting in week 5, a team member decided to drop out of the module without preempting us. so our team was just left with 3 members. WHICH REALLY MADE ME DEVASTATED.
And on the same day, when I had to meet OCF leaders to explain about transportation issues, I was late and was in a rush (due to project meeting), so ended up being caught by a nasty tram inspector. It was my fault for not tapping so I didnt bother arguing with him but he was accusing me of many things I didnt do - pushing him and telling me immature statements of how he could have been hurt by me. My energy was so depleted after the series of struggles, so I just sat there and let him accuse. At the end of it all i told him firmly "i did not push you". Paid willingly without any arguments at all. But God was good. He was so good to me that He sent a lady to let me know that He saw it all. When i left, this lady came up to me, gave me her number and told me that she saw how nasty he was and she will be my witness if i ever want to write in to complain about his behaviour.
She really didnt have to do it.... I was fine being accused but she was SO sweet to tell me she saw what was happening. And knowing that someone felt bad that i had to deal with him warmed my heart so much.
but I'm thankful and I still have the assurance that He is in control and He sees every struggle. And because of these, I have so much confidence easter camp is going to be amazing and He has great things in stored for all of us. The devil doesnt want it to take place but I'm not backing out.
I would have broken down if not for the Spirit in me. I really would have. I was so fearful of attending the leader's meeting. I hate tensions, I hate having to explain to opposition. But God really assured me He was going to go before me and prepare for me :')
The next day, we met up with our tutor and he really comforted us and told us he would support us despite the student dropping out. Gave us a few tips and helped us along with the recommendations.
But the whole spiritual attack didnt stop there. On our way there, we received news that the Coles online delivery got cancelled at the last min (30mins before closing hour) so they had to drive over to get the food we needed in faith that there was still gonna be food. Thankfully the staff were all very helpful and the food were sufficient for the meals :')
Side track a bit....
Weeks before this camp, God has been speaking to me a lot in strange ways, scary ways. I witnessed SO MUCH accidents & deaths and He gave me SO MUCH verses about sufferings. (I actually only told this to Melody, and tweeted abit about how afraid I was)
- Australia's former prime minister Malcolm Fraser death
- LYK's death
- Another car accident
- Car hit a girl who alighted the tram
- People's grandparents passing away
- A close friend's health issue, could be fatal
- A few friends whose close friends passed away
- One of the verses I received was: For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. Philippians 1:29 (NLT)"
I really didnt understand what He was trying to tell me because at that time, things were still manageable. I could still handle the mess in school. Part of me actually thought someone close to me was going to die. I quickly dismissed the thought each time because I was scared. so scared because death is too crazy. In my mind, I told God:
"No. God. No. You can't do that to me. Not now. Not when I'm serving You. But God, what? What are You trying to tell me. I don't get it. Just don't tell me someone close is dying. Especially not my parents. PLEASE. I cant deal"
I just put these thoughts away and just waited for God to tell me more clearly.
As planning continued, there were more struggles with communication and assumptions that frustrated me more.
But I thank Him that in the midst, I had friends who asked me if they could pray, if they could help. I had friends who told me about the miraculous attendance of friends whom they never have thought would come :')
Yup, this was Amanda who told us her testimony on the last day, who told all of us she was one of the tough nuts, who didnt want to come initially, who gave her life to God eventually :') We prayed very hard for her.
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When camp started, it felt so good. It felt so good to have campers from everywhere come together. God was really good to us all the time. He gave us 4 days of perfect weather and pushed the rain until camp ended.
We had the privilege of having Pastor Philip Lyn and Nancy from Skyline SIB, Joonchong and Maykuan as well as the renowned Red Hong Yi to speak to us this camp this year.
Really stepped up our game and so blessed by God from the testimonies shared.
The joy of the Lord, really, is my strength. Thankful for everyone's efforts put into making this camp work.
Anyway, I realised the verses about sufferings and death was related to Easter camp.
He wanted to remind me of His death on the cross and this verse <3
Philipians 1:29For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him.
Thinking back, it was really a privilege to trust and suffer for Him. It was a privilege to be part of the committee. Hearing the testimonies made me feel like all the struggles we've been through, all the pain was worth it.
My God speaks. My God listens. My God sees. Open your heart to Him, say a little prayer with a little faith. He will reveal Himself. I promise.
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