So much happened the past one week.
I've had many people tell me that my calling is for the kids. But I always, always thought it was side line.
This job application period reminded me of how much relief teaching and tutoring I've done. All of these had no relation to the jobs I applied, so I always felt frustrated cause I wished I planned a little more wisely... yet I know I really enjoyed every relief teaching and tutoring.
Anyway, the thought of wanting to be a teacher came back to me at midnight last Saturday. So I went to look it up again. It wasnt my first time looking up at it, and I've always been looking at the same results. But I just thought I wanted to have another look at it.
Amidst all the social pressure, frustrations and impatience, this time, I saw an opening that fit me just right (it opened a week after I came back from Melbourne and just closed a few days ago).
Then a lot of technical problems happened, so I couldnt submit it until Monday afternoon.
It was soooo suffocating trying to keep it to myself.
Over the weeks I was really convinced that this was from God.
Having a friend with a gift of prophecy come tell me that she thinks teaching is my calling months ago when I was thinking about my future - even before seeing this opening (at that time I thought it was 3 more years of studies and dismissed the thought + all teaching jobs required qualification)
Having found out that another friend of mine applied for the same course the same day I sent my application and tell me confidently that she thinks this is for us when I was still confused and frustrated about job search,
Having an interviewer tell me that I deserve better than the position I applied for <3 which interviewer says that? :') & having her ask me why I didnt want to go into teaching instead.
Having all the doubts about myself and feeling of inadequacy and God comes to tell me to strengthen and stand against the enemy, taking control of my mind and not believing in the lies :')
But this whole week, was me wondering why I didnt want to let anyone know about it since I was convinced this is God speaking. I guess part of it was because I wanted it to be between me and God.
Part of it was because I thought that there is still a risk of me not getting in - God's name will be used in vain, and I would be so ashamed. I just couldnt bring down my pride to let everyone know before the results are out. I think even after all these confirmation, my faith still made me falter.
But now I think I need to share it and be firm in my belief. Faith is believing what cannot be seen. And nothing can display my faith more than this. Proclaiming this path mine because I heard Him speak before earthly/physical acceptance.
I've had many people tell me that my calling is for the kids. But I always, always thought it was side line.
This job application period reminded me of how much relief teaching and tutoring I've done. All of these had no relation to the jobs I applied, so I always felt frustrated cause I wished I planned a little more wisely... yet I know I really enjoyed every relief teaching and tutoring.
Anyway, the thought of wanting to be a teacher came back to me at midnight last Saturday. So I went to look it up again. It wasnt my first time looking up at it, and I've always been looking at the same results. But I just thought I wanted to have another look at it.
Amidst all the social pressure, frustrations and impatience, this time, I saw an opening that fit me just right (it opened a week after I came back from Melbourne and just closed a few days ago).
It was a postgrad dip under scholarship by NIE for a year with 3 years bond.Initially, I wanted to keep it just between me and God. I wanted to see if this was it. I just wanted to pray alone and commit all these applications unto His hands. So I kept quiet and didnt tell anyone about it. BUT I lost it, and told my dad the next evening, hahahah - and of course told him not to tell anyone about it. So I thought, great. My Heavenly Father and earthly father are the only people who are aware.
Then a lot of technical problems happened, so I couldnt submit it until Monday afternoon.
It was soooo suffocating trying to keep it to myself.
Over the weeks I was really convinced that this was from God.
Having a friend with a gift of prophecy come tell me that she thinks teaching is my calling months ago when I was thinking about my future - even before seeing this opening (at that time I thought it was 3 more years of studies and dismissed the thought + all teaching jobs required qualification)
Having found out that another friend of mine applied for the same course the same day I sent my application and tell me confidently that she thinks this is for us when I was still confused and frustrated about job search,
Having an interviewer tell me that I deserve better than the position I applied for <3 which interviewer says that? :') & having her ask me why I didnt want to go into teaching instead.
Having all the doubts about myself and feeling of inadequacy and God comes to tell me to strengthen and stand against the enemy, taking control of my mind and not believing in the lies :')
But this whole week, was me wondering why I didnt want to let anyone know about it since I was convinced this is God speaking. I guess part of it was because I wanted it to be between me and God.
Part of it was because I thought that there is still a risk of me not getting in - God's name will be used in vain, and I would be so ashamed. I just couldnt bring down my pride to let everyone know before the results are out. I think even after all these confirmation, my faith still made me falter.
But now I think I need to share it and be firm in my belief. Faith is believing what cannot be seen. And nothing can display my faith more than this. Proclaiming this path mine because I heard Him speak before earthly/physical acceptance.
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1
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