These 2 weeks was me thinking and worrying about not getting the call of acceptance. Me wondering if I should have a "backup plan". If I do, then what happens to my faith in God that He called me to this? If I dont, then what happens for the next 2-3 months because I have a Europe trip booked in Nov. SOOO tired of idling and not having a plan.
3 more weeks (or less) to go till I hear the news... The most torturous wait, really. The "uncertainty" that God REALLY REALLY called and doubt that comes along the way. I mean, God can call, you can hear, but you will only be 100% certain till the results are out isnt it (unless one hears it in an audible voice).
Then comes the feeling of inadequacy, the fear of being someone children look up to, and the responsibilities that comes with the role. Am I really good enough for the role? Can I really handle a class of 30-40 students? Can I really make sure every child is taken care of? Am I good enough for the this job that looks for perfection? I mean the ministry of education needs someone that the children can look to and bring up for the future of Singapore right? omg, so much on my plate. Also a teacher needs to have the answers to ALL their questions T.T How will I have. How can I have...... so much pressure... I cant...
But I had to push away all the negativity of not being 'good enough' and I guess that's where Christ comes in isnt it? I know if God calls me to it, He is faithful to bring me through it, sustain me, equip me. That brought so much comfort really. Also, "God doesnt call the equipped, He equips the called." He uses not the mighty but the weak, not the noble but the foolish.
He just threw me verses every day to encourage me. So just like that, defeated the devil in this stage! D:<
Today a call came, and it was from MOE. I thought it was gonna be the acceptance call! But wasnt. Was a second form that I didnt fill up after the interview. REALLY REALLY hope that since they bothered to call me to get my details, it meant that at least I won half the battle!
I have faith that God called me to this. I have faith that I will get it even though I'm not good enough - the beauty is that He calls the 'unqualified' :'). I still wanna praise His name.
Fast forward 2 weeks please!!!!!!!
3 more weeks (or less) to go till I hear the news... The most torturous wait, really. The "uncertainty" that God REALLY REALLY called and doubt that comes along the way. I mean, God can call, you can hear, but you will only be 100% certain till the results are out isnt it (unless one hears it in an audible voice).
Then comes the feeling of inadequacy, the fear of being someone children look up to, and the responsibilities that comes with the role. Am I really good enough for the role? Can I really handle a class of 30-40 students? Can I really make sure every child is taken care of? Am I good enough for the this job that looks for perfection? I mean the ministry of education needs someone that the children can look to and bring up for the future of Singapore right? omg, so much on my plate. Also a teacher needs to have the answers to ALL their questions T.T How will I have. How can I have...... so much pressure... I cant...
But I had to push away all the negativity of not being 'good enough' and I guess that's where Christ comes in isnt it? I know if God calls me to it, He is faithful to bring me through it, sustain me, equip me. That brought so much comfort really. Also, "God doesnt call the equipped, He equips the called." He uses not the mighty but the weak, not the noble but the foolish.
To not be anxious about anything, but in everything in, prayer and petition, present my request to Him (Phil 4:6).
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness (Isa 43:19 NLT).
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive (Heb 10:35-36).
For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; 27 but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, 28 and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, 29 so that no man may boast before God. 30 But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, 31 so that, just as it is written, “LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD.”
(1 Corinthians 1:26-31 NASB)
He just threw me verses every day to encourage me. So just like that, defeated the devil in this stage! D:<
Today a call came, and it was from MOE. I thought it was gonna be the acceptance call! But wasnt. Was a second form that I didnt fill up after the interview. REALLY REALLY hope that since they bothered to call me to get my details, it meant that at least I won half the battle!
I have faith that God called me to this. I have faith that I will get it even though I'm not good enough - the beauty is that He calls the 'unqualified' :'). I still wanna praise His name.
Fast forward 2 weeks please!!!!!!!
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