I thought the past few months of job search were the toughest. But now as I think back, it was unconsciously comforting.
I had friends who were really proud of me, supportive of me, and friends who prayed with me all these while. Friends who dont ask me too much about it, gave me time, and wait till I was ready to update them with my life - they sound like theyre unconcern but I actually dont need "overly concerned" friends.
God really comforted at the most unexpected times.
When I got tempted to settle for less, i met interviewers who tell me i deserve more. WHAT? New their hiring technique?
When I was so discouraged, it turned around and I had the most amazing experience at PMO.
Another time, I met an interviewer who was a unimelb graduate in 1991 who knew ocf and was from another christian fellowship back then. omg, meeting a senior at an interview?! It broke the ice so quickly and we spent the whole time talking about unimelb, our christian fellowships, job market, etc. It was very heartwarming and I was so amazed how God strategically placed him in my life. He was such a fatherly figure and I was really happy to have met him. Decided not to go for the position cos he told me the position is temp and they're on a hiring freeze so chances of turning perm is very slim. Also cause I had another offer which is more stable and......
it is the one I just signed! All glory to Him! To the One who has been comforting me all this while, though I've been ignoring them, complaining, and whining cause the result I wanted wasnt achieved till now :x
I guessed I learnt A LOT in the process and had so many encounters I cant even make sense of. The past few months were my weakest, and most sensitive period. I had the least confidence because socially i was expected to be employed and i wasnt. I hate not meeting expectations - i really hated all insensitive 'have you gotten a job' question. I'm dealing with so much more stuff emotionally and mentally. Can yall just not add to the pressure and let me try my best to handle this at my own pace. Because of that I was so afraid of talking to people, so fearful of 'how are you', 'what have you been up to' questions. Most of the time I ignore them/give a cold reply/change topic or walk away/take very long to calmly draft a reply. It wasnt me being unfriendly and mean, it was me just being fearful. Being really really insecure, and at my worst.
I know I dont owe anyone any explanation and i thought so hard whether I should write this up at all. Afterall it is embarrassing that I failed the job application at PMO, and so many more. But I wrote this for myself anyway. Right now I feel like a prisoner finally coming out of hiding because I finally have answers to people's questions. So I wrote this to liberate myself really. And now that you finally have your questions answered, please just stop talking about me, judging me, and comparing me.
I'm just super super grateful that the whole search has ended in this terrible economy, i've finally met society's expectation, and now officially employed!
To Him be all glory, all honor, and all praise!
Right after a terrible interview I had, I got a call and had the most amazing privilege for an interview at Istana, the prime minister's office. Extremely grateful just for the experience and super stoked from meeting many guards at the gate, to buggy rides in, to the big parks, grand buildings, and insanely formal and stressful-looking boardroom where I had my interview in. - omg i just realised I didnt journal this part down?! cant find the entry! I thought I did!!!!! omg, i rmbr drafting it on evernote, did i not post it? nvm, let's just leave that to another day.
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