few years ago i mustered my courage to let the friendship go, i told him i didnt want to talk anymore. because of an answer he couldnt give to me.

I hated myself since then, for the years i've spent waiting. for the wishful thinking that the feeling was mutual. for believing in something I created out of nothing. I try to push the blame, but deep down I know it was still my fault. for letting him into my heart and keeping it there in the first place. for protecting it even though he has never asked and promised anything. I really hated myself for not having enough courage to settle things with him earlier but giving him so much time.

Today we closed it up again. This time I'm sure he got my message. This time, i think it's for good and we'll be moving on. This time, I really hope my heart will recover and heal.

the parts I missed out, we'll keep it between us and our closest friends. the other angers, we'll take it to Him and let Him heal it. the other memories, let it just fade away and be forgotten.