TYJ

Nearly a year since I started teaching and I still think I love my job. I mean I whine on days I’m going to work but that’s just because  work is not effortless and I'm lazy.

But BSF reminded me so much about job search. I think i didnt really fully express how tough it was in that 2 mins of sharing.

Firstly, it was tough because of the uncertainty of working world. In the past 20 years, my future was pretty certain. Primary school > Secondary School > JC/Poly > Uni. And i know for sure that if i work hard and do well in school, i will get a good opportunity if not the best. I just had to work hard to meet requirements. 

But after grad in uni, despite doing well, opportunities didnt come naturally. The uncertainty of getting a job was so real. I couldnt say for sure that I would get a good and high paying job, I couldnt even say for sure that a ‘bad’ job would be offered. For once I couldnt pick based on merit, they picked me. 

And then I wondered if God is so good, and He foreknew, predestined and called and if all these worked out for the good, why didnt ‘good’ jobs come? Why didnt ‘bad’ jobs come too? And why should I even consider/hope and settle for ‘bad’ ones even? (You can tell me ‘bad’ is subjective but you have to agree there ARE ‘bad’ ones out there.) 

I struggled soo much with this thought. 

The second was about my calling to teaching. Before graduating uni, i was very sure I wanted marketing/mgmt. I never thought of working with kids at all. Until a friend told me she’s surprised I didnt consider, because she saw it as my calling all this while. I knew I love kids but I never thought teaching would be a career, i thought of it as a ministry i would serve in  church. And also because God closed the door for NIE before uni - or rather the call came a few days late (after i paid my uni deposit)

It was during my first job that God spoke again through His word, through His people, through circumstance, and I guess through the Holy Spirit. I had this strong assurance I never felt before that teaching is the path. Every single day, He would tell me He has provided, He has prepared a place for me. So i left my job, believing so. Usually I will doubt if I heard the voice of God, but this time i know He spoke very clearly so I went ahead in faith. For the first time, before I got my acceptance, I told people (christian friends) the reason I left my job was because God called me to teaching. I was actually apprehensive of telling everyone at first, since 'the calling' has not come to pass. But I was very sure of it, I kept telling myself i had nothing to fear. Also, i believe that words have power and if i declare it daily, i will receive it. 

But the anti-climatic story is that I didnt get the job at NIE. People who I told were probably very lost because i was so sure i would get it. I was lost myself. Why did God speak to me so clearly and close the door on me. It’s like this push and pull flirtatious game in a relationship yknow. He leads me to think a certain way, and acts the opposite. 

But I never doubted the voice of God. I was still sure i heard Him right. I was just confused why He closed that door. And wondered which door He will open (it seemed like there were no other options at that time). 

Until a colleague of mine introduced and encouraged me to apply for my current job. To be very honest, i was apprehensive because it wasnt the normal route a teacher would take. But it was the only other route I could take so I applied in faith and all my hope was on it. When I got it, a few people around me told me bad reviews of it, but i went ahead anyways. 

Thinking back on the verse about how God foreknew, predestined, called and all things work for the good, this job really was the best. Soo many people have told me that they cant wait to leave NIE, that they were so occupied with admin in school, with extra curricular activities, with marking that they cant focus on teaching. 

There are times i still wonder what would have happened if I went NIE. Little did I know I was actually praying so hard for a place that God knew I wouldnt be that happy in. He prepared another place that was so much better for me. 

I thank God every day for the environment of my workplace, for the workload, for the flexibility, for the work-life balance, for the ability to have a relationship with EVERY child, for the pay, for the facilities & welfare provided, for the trainings and for colleagues. 

God really knows the best for us. If given a second chance, I wouldnt have exchanged my uni life for NIE and I also wouldnt have exchanged this job for NIE.