Covid. Circuit Breaker

This year is definitely one of the most happening, most indescribable, most surreal times.

Everything that has happened was just mindblowing..

I think it all started from Australian fires that brought the world close. I saw everyone donating and lending their help to protect thousands of animals and their habitat.

Then Hongkong's riots came about. CRAZY times. Not sure if it's still ongoing... but defintely slowed down? (another cleanse?). Everyone was basically crashing shops, bashing people, stopping traffic and just being disruptive to the economy as much as possible. flights in and out were not even possible, people in danger for stepping out of home into the streets to get basic necessities and transport.

And sneakily, the virus creeped upon us. we used to call it Wuhan, and another mindblowing fact was that it came from people eating bats....... ????

South Korea was one of the countries that was badly hit by the virus and it brought to light a cult group that N* was part of in Melbourne. And just months before that I met her sister coincidentally (well of course I knew nothing was a coincidence), we were just praying really hard for her to break out of it, for God to fight for us, for her, for her family. We were praying for restoration of all her relationships with people, for her safety, mental wellbeing. So when this cult group was brought to light, it was as if God won the victory for us :') I always believed that this virus was a cleansing of many things. & this was the first cleanse that this virus did for the world.

Slowly we saw the news when countries started to go into lock down. Tourism affected. But gradually reports of nature being restored was all over media :')

The world went into panic. people panic buy toilet rolls (ya, it may sound ridiculous when I read this in the future, but of all things, toilet rolls lol), people stuck at home & worked from home during circuit breaker and lock down, food and retail were closed for a good 1.5months, business went out, we cooked daily at home (occasionally getting delivery), people finally washing their hands with soap and sanitising their hands every 5mins, temperature taken everytime we step into a building, safe entry check-ins, disposable masks, reusable masks, satin masks, batik masks, mad online shopping.... AND travel suspended.. sigh

I guess everyone was constrained with space, everyone was stressed out with work as economy wasnt doing well and there was manpower cuts everywhere, there was hiring freeze, people were stretched and stuck at home with kids. it was an uncomfortable change and everyone was confused with the situation, uneasy with adapting and anxiety affected everyone. even me. 

parents of my students went crazy and ugly side of them revealed. It was the most stressful period that I couldnt eat, couldnt sleep and was always crying daily. think I lost about 5kg in 3 months.

Thinking back...

2019 was me travelling every 2 months and checking my bucketlist of America (Yosemite National Park, Antelope Canyon, Grand Canyon, LA), surprise trip with Anywhr, and trip with daddy to Thailand (the last time we travelled tgth was when I was 9).

Then this year just FLEW past. the year of time and space. I rmbr when I heard this theme I was confused with ‘space’, i didnt want/desire any promotion at work so I wondered how I could pray for this. And Covid happened. 

Space was literally constrained, what I took for granted was taken away. Even leaving home was dangerous and judged upon. Basically people were only allowed to head to supermarkets, and that was where the crowd was. Bubble tea, drink stalls, food stalls all closed. We had to cook daily and ran out of ideas what to prepare shortly after.  

I used to be super uncomfortable with video calls but I've now grown so adapted to it, basically doing it daily (for classes, social gatherings, conferences, meetings). I've also grown so much closer to my friends in church. It was something I prayed so much since 6 years ago when I came back. I always wondered if my prayer was heard, if it was because I wasnt 'trying' hard enough to get connected. But I knew I've tried so many times and it just didnt work. I thank God this time it was effortless, I've been so welcomed, so loved and graciously embraced into this community <3 Something that was so important to me, not just because I needed emotional support (I actually have it from many groups of friends & family), but more spiritual support to keep me rooted, accountable, and people who can pray over me and speak life into me. 

2020 was also the year I finally found someone I was interested in :') Or rather the spark happened in end of 2019 but I just dismissed it and didnt put too much thought into it until I was encouraged to speak about it, pray about it, and the affection just released. It has been tough getting over I* and I've always felt like I spent so many years with him, investing in him, getting to know each other and feelings was so deeply rooted. Though I initiated to let go, there were deeper problems that arose. One was not feeling like I was adequate enough to be loved, another was trust issue and just comparison to him because there were still things I loved about him. of course, other issues were chemistry, spiritual unity (? like it wasnt matched up esp after I graduated from melb). I knew I was secure in Christ so it didnt affect me too much that I was single until and unless people ask me and have 'the talk' with me to try and understand why I was single... LOL. 

will just end abruptly here. hahaha.